First Travels

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I’m on my way to Arizona, feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. I want to be one of those people who has seen so much, who has all of these soul-awakening stories. Is it common to feel inadequate about things you have not yet done? Where do these preconceived ideas of how I should enjoy these moments stem from? It’s as though I’m comparing my travel experience to some unknown source, some “cool” way to make the world mine. Who am I even comparing myself to?

I want to tell this inner pressure to take a step back. To live in the moment and experience things my way. But I feel burdened by these standards. It’s like I’m grasping at something that I can’t begin to understand. I just want to be there.

But I know those moments where I think, “I’m proud of what I’m making room in my life to experience” will come again.

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I was afraid of the unknown. I have learned that I adapt well to new surroundings. How uplifting it is to be close to people who are in similar places in their lives. Living well in new spaces is a practice in acceptance and gratitude. It’s easy to think of yourself as being different and estranged from the feelings and thoughts of others. But it’s a practice in humility to realize that you’re a tiny piece. Like everyone else, you’re doing the best you can to make the most out of your life.

Is it true that no matter your circumstance, you’re always longing for something you can’t have? If so, it puts into perspective your true needs and who you really are.

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